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Handle with Care: Empathy at Work


Feb 15, 2021

- Mike Thibideau

But it's been. A really meaningful way to to change a lot of things about myself that were the underlying cause of like kind of what I went back to before, like I didn't I I didn't know why people would like to be sober and the reality is, is because they don't hate themselves. If you don't if you don't hate who you are, then just existing in your own skin isn't a miserable state of existence and finally learning to come to peace with those things. Is what really navigating recovery has been all about.

 
INTRO
 
Today, we are talking about addiction:  its roots, the challenge of staying sober, and how workplaces can support their people as they struggle to manage their addictions.  My guest in Mike Thibideau, he is the Director of Indiana Workforce Recovery. 
 

Indiana Workforce Recovery is a partnership of the Indiana Wellness Council and the Indiana Chamber and I will let Mike tell you a little bit more about it in his own words

 

- Mike Thibideau

Indiana Workforce Recovery is a program of the Wellness Council, operated in partnership with the chamber and the administration of Governor Holcomb here in Indiana that really works to mitigate the impact of addiction on employer environments by equipping them to support recovery.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I think that that's an important distinction. There are not a lot of initiatives. Well, there are a lot more now than when I started. Not a lot of initiatives out there really focused on recovery in the workplace.

 

But Mike doesn’t just work in Recovery.  He is also a man in recovery himself.  He has been sober for five years.  Yet, you know that I want my guests to be more than just their story of hardship, so let me introduce you a little more fully to Mike. 

 

Mike is the father of a little girl, Hazel, and he and his wife have another little one on the way. 

 

- Mike Thibideau

And we're we're just really excited to have her kind of join our team, as it were. It's all healthy. All good. I don't know. Unfortunately, I don't know too much about her yet. That's kind of, I think, a good thing at this point. But we're yeah, we're just really excited to have that addition to the family.

 

Mike has lived in Indy for the last eight years, he considers himself a Hoosier and roots for the Colts but he was born in metro Detroit.  He and his wife met through a mutual friend, post-college. 

 

- Liesel Mertes

But this story, you know, did you know, like right off the bat that you guys would be a good fit? Was it a chemistry from the start or did you have to both come to that realization, kind of like in your own time manner?

 

- Mike Thibideau

We definitely had some chemistry kind of to kick things off. And we actually started hanging out the year that in the last time Indianapolis was hosting the Final Four and we were watching. Those those basketball games, and coincidentally enough, that first month together was the time that Michigan State and Duke faced off in that Final Four game.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Wow, you're going to have to confront that one early.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But but we definitely knew there was some. Some chemistry early on, and I think that that actually fully manifested itself when she became aware of of the struggles I was having in life and still kind of stuck it out because she hasn't only been around for the. The good parts of the last few years, she she saw. When we got together, slowly but surely, she got to the veil, became lifted and she got to see some of me at my worst.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So I think that that chemistry kind of spoke to. Her ability to be resilient in those times and. Support an individual who clearly was in need of some help.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yeah, you know, that's a that's a very appropriate segue into, you know, some of what we want to discuss in today's podcast. You talk about yourself.

 

- Liesel Mertes

You know, when you sent me your bio as a person in long term recovery, you unpack that a little bit for me. What does that mean to you? And then I'd love to go deeper into some of your story.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Yeah, sure.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So, yeah, I, I, I now publicly before privately identify myself as a person in long term recovery from substance use disorder. And that means that I have not used a drink or mind altering drug aside from those prescribed by a doctor as prescribed in what for me is now over five years. And so I also I think within that is the dedication to living my life in a certain way that betters the world around me and consistently endeavours to be better.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I wouldn't say I am better, but I you know, we all we all fail. But I think the difference is as a person in recovery for me, I can identify those moments of failure or recognize them as such. Name them and use them to grow and try to be better.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yeah, I feel like in the public eye and consciousness, there's almost like these two polarities in which we see substance abuse and addiction. It's either like we see representations of the addict, you know, someone who is just their whole life has been wrecked by, you know, their relationship with this substance or, you know, someone who's doing well in recovery. And it's a triumphant story.

 

- Liesel Mertes

And I'm struck that, you know, for for many people, it's much more of a spectrum of their relationship with, you know, whatever substance that is beginning to take up more and more space in their life and in their consciousness. I imagine that there are elements of that within your own story.

 

- Liesel Mertes

You know, you don't just start drinking like, you know, tons of hard liquor as a 15 year old, as you chart, you know, kind of your progression.

 

- Liesel Mertes

What is your origin story of your relationship with substances that would later become really damaging in your life?

 

- Mike Thibideau

Yeah, I mean, absolutely. So for me, it all goes back to really grade school, even where I experienced a lot of trauma related to bullying and insecurity. I I was a very I was a very small kid until about eighth grade when suddenly I grew like a foot or more in a short very short period.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I remember distinctly, you know, being in sixth grade and getting picked on by fourth grade girls who were also bigger than me, you know, kids calling me Simon Birch and which in hindsight as adults, should have been a compliment because that dude ended up being a hero in that movie.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But but as a as a kid, you know, hurt and a lot of just kind of traumatic bullying experiences as a younger individual. The that kind of led to me having a self narrative of I'm not cool, I'm not good enough.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I think that was also reinforced to an extent academically as well by my ADHD and the presence of that in my life. I never got bad grades, but I had to do a decent amount of work to get decent grades and really, what I found was when I started doing drugs and using using drugs and alcohol, it felt like a hole had been filled and suddenly I felt accepted by others like I wasn't some square kid who followed all the rules and did everything right.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I was able to be a little bit more than that. And it's really funny because, you know, in hindsight and as an adult, I'm the kind of guy who, like, loves clear expectations and rules. And I think that that same thing was true for me as an adolescent.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But it wasn't cool to be a kid who followed all the rules and did and did those things right that that you think is expected of you. And so there was kind of that like that always that pull on me as somebody who, like I think really in the end wanted to follow the rules and be a good kid, but also saw felt that that identity was one of social isolation and outcast.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And so really, I mean, at in high school, my identity was a lot of things. But one of that and among at least certain social circles was a kid who, you know, smoked a lot of pot and and would drink. And I don't know how much others perceived that as being my identity, but it definitely, for me, was a key part of my identity. And I think that that's. What a lot of people who struggle with addiction have in their lives is the.

 

- Mike Thibideau

The inability to accurately assess how others view us and have a really false internal narrative of our own identity. And at a point that became what it meant to feel normal.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I remember as early as college saying to friends, why are people sober? Like, why would you ever just choose to be sober? Like, who likes that? And that's not a normal thing, apparently, for people to think about life. So it took.

 

- Mike Thibideau

College was a very tumultuous time where I would kind of my horse, my old tale of the least adult addiction is one of being able to successfully navigate crises. And in doing so, enable my own continued use,

 

- Liesel Mertes

Tell me tell me a little bit more about that like crises that are brought about by, like forgetting important tests or dropping the ball or what did that look like for you?

 

- Mike Thibideau

Well, for me, like a whole semester at a time in college back then, I would I'd get like a one point six and then I'd have to buckle down. In the next semester, I'd get a 4.0. I even had at one point, I think my junior year, I had a 4.0 and a three point nine five, and then the following year I followed that up with like a two point one and a and like a two point three.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And none of it related to, like, how hard my classes were or anything like that. I just couldn't. My disease psychologist would kind of become more active and less active based on systems and supports that I would put in my life, which at least at that time were able to temporarily help me navigate things.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Could you unpack that for me? Because I'm struck that that's an evocative term that listeners might not understand. Tell me a little bit about your particular disease cycle and how it was affected by the presence or absence of the supports that you're talking about.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So for me, a lot of what it looked like was just habits and ritual that I used specifically with the conscious thought of managing my drinking. And by managing my drinking, I mean, not drinking less, but managing the impact that drinking was having on my life.

 

- Mike Thibideau

when I would be at school and I would be drinking really hard, but it's still doing well at school, what I would basically do is I would get a paper assigned to me and like I would write it that day. Knowing that if I do this work now, I can party harder later.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I would do all my studying for tests well in advance and I would do everything I could to kind of build in a. Immediate sense of accomplishment that I would then follow up with. You know, reckless behavior, frankly, and what would really happen is that that would only be sustainable for a certain amount of time before the the rails would come off and I'd spend a whole semester.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Hardly doing anything or at least doing the bare minimum. And once you get in kind of both of those cycles, I think that that's a thing that is often the case with both individuals. I know and it was especially the case for myself, is that at a certain point you become like the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark, where you're just like you're just going down a path and it's going to end somewhere. And that's going to be really the time when you can make a choice and arrest the behavior, at least temporarily and survive or not.

 

- Mike Thibideau

For some people, that ends in death. And fortunately, it didn't. And there were just kind of a lot of those periods in my life where I was just rolling down that hill and.

 

- Mike Thibideau

There would have to be something there that would stop me, and it really was never a person or, you know, it wasn't a place where somebody could just say, like, you know, we love you, right? And then be like, oh, OK, cool.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Like, I'll just stop drinking. It would have to be running out of money, becoming homeless. Changing jobs, moving to a new city.

 

- Liesel Mertes

So during this time, you know, you talk about it wasn't enough just for someone to have, like, the verbal affirmation, we love you, we want you to stop.

 

- Liesel Mertes

I'm struck. Did you have people in your life that were seeing this decline and were trying to intervene? And a follow up to that, if it.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yes. Is were they doing like what were some good things they were doing? Did it even matter? What were some things that were terrible? I'd love to hear more about what people were trying to do to come alongside you.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So as a disclaimer, my use during that time and really through most of my really hard addiction for about 18 through twenty five, I can't really remember very much. I was drinking somewhere between a fifth and a half gallon of hard liquor a day for most of that, and that along with doing drugs. And so to an extent that just really damages your ability to remember things. So I really can't tell you on my own perspective a story of somebody.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Yeah. Trying to do something. I do know I heard years later that some of my fraternity brothers at some point did come out to me and say, like, hey, like, don't you think you're you're kind of drinking a little hard and. I thought that was one that was during, unfortunately, kind of for them, I think a little bit for me that was during one of the good times. And I just pulled up my transcripts and showed them all that I had a 4.0.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And they were like, all right. You know, like it's look, it's Goutman. You know, like if you're if what you're doing isn't causing problems, then it's probably not a problem, you know, like live your life. And I think there were.

 

- Mike Thibideau

My family, actually, I will say I was the one who kind of initiated that conversation as an adult during high school and things like that, they would have we would have conversations and consequences about my use.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But as an adult, I remember about two years or three years before I got sober, even I told my I told my parents that I was an alcoholic and that I was going to eventually need to just stop drinking. And fortunately for me, that's what led to them eventually having an intervention for me years later, but. There were a lot of people like both them, I think, to an extent, and then also, you know, my then girlfriend, now wife, where I would tell them things like that and they'd be like, no, you're not like me.

 

- Mike Thibideau

You know, that's and they wouldn't say that as much as they would vocalize to me later on in life that they were thinking it. And a lot of that was because I still had a job until the end, had a car and, you know, while I wasn't, I would say navigating life, well, I wasn't the stereotype of. What an addict or an alcoholic is, and so. And we just didn't know we as a family didn't have very much of it in our genetics and weren't exposed to it in that way.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So it's a long way of saying that.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I really don't have a whole lot of examples in my life of people who said, like, let's try to get you help or because. Because in general. I was able to hold it together enough that. The signs weren't there unless I let them be seen or unless you caught me in a specific moment.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I also, you know, I moved I moved here eight years ago, so and I and before I lived in Indianapolis, I spent over two years living in, I think it was seven different cities around the country.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So I wasn't really around family in a way that they saw much of my life.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yeah. I'd like to just ask a question about something that you mentioned. You talked about. I don't fit the stereotype of how we picture an addict, especially in the work that you do. You know, you. You go deep into probably as you build awareness, as you help recovering addicts, tell me what that stereotype looks like and how it can be damaging and how it steers us wrong. Yeah, in realizing the scope of how many people actually struggle with addiction issues.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So I think definitely one part of it is I'm a straight white man that definitely doesn't hurt me as far as perception, obviously bias is real, but I also, you know, dressed fairly well and am a fairly eloquent individual and have been for really as long as I can really remember, that's only increased.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So I was always a person who was able to clearly and clearly and concisely put together my thoughts and express myself in a very effective manner and even professionally, I.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I think the best way to say it was I was always somebody who excelled until I was almost failing, meaning that I would be able to get a job or do something new in life and be very successful at it. Until my addiction would catch up with me, the routines would fall apart, the wheels would come off the wagon, and suddenly I was barely meeting expectations.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And that's something I tell employers to look for all the time, is really that change in behavior, because I know that my boss, who I was working on, the the organization I was working for when I got into recovery and when I went through treatment, he told me he thought that I just didn't care anymore. He didn't. He knew something was going on.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But he thought really it was just that I didn't give a crap and. That couldn't get any further from the truth, I love that job, but but at the same time, I was I was in crisis and my life was kind of starting to fall apart around me.

 

MUSICAL TRANSITION

- Mike Thibideau

When I actually realized that I had a problem, I was in a training for something called the Alcohol Skills Training Program back when I worked for my fraternity. And it's a workshop to teach young people how to responsibly navigate. Drinking and social behaviors. And they went through a little mini assessment of like how to talk to somebody about potentially having a problem with drugs or alcohol. And they were like, oh, yeah, if you like, checked like five of these 30 boxes, you might have a problem.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I checked like twenty nine of the 30. And it was just like, oh, OK. So this, this might be real. I kind of put it off for a little while after that.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But but then really what I think started to make it strike home was when my memory loss started to interfere with my ability to remember things that I was doing sober. So I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to remember whether like so I wouldn't at that time I wasn't you know, I wasn't using or intoxicated at work or anything like that.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I was having trouble remembering things that I'd done the last day, even if I had been sober while doing them. And that was really having ramifications on my life where, like, I wouldn't be able to remember people that I met. I wouldn't be able to remember tasks that I had accomplished cause that I'd had or things that I checked in with my boss on. And so. Kind of that led to me realizing that, like something is happening here.

 

- Mike Thibideau

That I have to be concerned about before I go insane. And that was very striking at the time.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yeah, and where where did you go from that realization?

 

- Mike Thibideau

Well, I went right back to drinking, but that was that was a problem for Mike to deal with when the the ball finally hit the end.

 

Mike was drinking more and more.  He began in the morning and was even getting behind the wheel.  So his family staged an intervention. 

 

- Liesel Mertes

When when you say that, you know, they had an intervention, they directed me to services, you know, that's it's not like a quick flyover, but I imagine that there's like a pretty emotional scene, potentially, like, do you remember feeling angry? Were you ready to go when they told you you needed to go? Like, unpack that a little bit for me?

 

- Mike Thibideau

I would say scared and excited was how I felt. I didn't realize how ready for it I was until the moment it was put in front of me. The moment they and I will say I'm like, I'm so I've I have done a number of these and been part of. Helping people get into treatment, and it does not often go as smooth as my we all kind of I guess luck got lucky, I don't know what it was. We were blessed by the fact that at that moment I was I was ready for it and able to engage.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And it wasn't a hesitation or anything. It was just, yes, let's go.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And we went. And it was it was a jarring experience. You know, going through detox and and then I did for forty five days of residential treatment and a couple of months of outpatient, and I've really especially that early period in detox and early residential was a very emotional time in my life. And one that. Was among the more difficult things I've been through.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So. When people are struggling with addiction and in my own experience, when I was struggling with addiction, like I was pretty severe, you know, use. I was not a mentally like, well, person, so. Especially when you took away my crutch. It was a very emotional time, and part of that is the emotion centers in my brain that have been numbed for years were just starting to kind of open back up.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And my brain was even early on starting the process of healing. There was a lot of crying and a lot of. Just trying to figure out what to do, and I remember even early on, one of my biggest barriers was, you know, people would be telling me about 12 step recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous or other such programs. And everybody was talking about God all the time. And I was a hardcore atheist at that point, you know.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And that was a big barrier for me, was that people kept talking in that way. Fortunately, I got through my counselors and professional help is exposed to some parts of of that 12 step program, but then also just other cognitive behavioral therapy and supports that didn't rely on that narrative quite so much and really talked about how to build that into your own narrative and allowed me to successfully navigate that system.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I think one of the things that's really hard to do is, you know, when we when we put people into detox, you know, I I had pretty severe alcohol use disorder and I had done and I was doing some drugs here and there, but I had never even met anyone who had done meth or heroin prior to engaging in treatment.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And suddenly I'm surrounded by individuals who have been using meth and heroin. And, you know, we can while ah, what's going on in our brains is very similar culturally, that's a very different type of individual than I had previously been engaged with. And so I kind of had to learn to. Have this new peer group, almost of people who have had very different life experiences than I did for the most part, and it was definitely like a culture shock going in there and seeing that and being around that for the first time.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I luckily I got really plugged in to some really great supports and. Found some good examples in my life of people who were doing the right things and followed that example for myself. That's 12 step recovery.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But it's been. A really meaningful way to to change a lot of things about myself that were the underlying cause of like kind of what I went back to before, like I didn't I I didn't know why people would like to be sober and the reality is, is because they don't hate themselves. If you don't if you don't hate who you are, then just existing in your own skin isn't a miserable state of existence and finally learning to come to peace with those things. Is what really navigating recovery has been all about.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Hmm, what did you and what do you continue to discover that you really like about the shober version of yourself?

 

- Mike Thibideau

So. I like remembering things that's that's pretty cool, being able to know what you did yesterday. It might sound like a strange thing to take for granted, but to not take for granted.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I really don't. I would also say my ability to be present for those around me is a constant blessing and the relationships I have in my life are so deep and have so much meaning, and the vulnerability I'm able to possess on a constant basis is a is a huge, huge blessing.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I know professionally, even one of the things that's been so great about being a person in long term recovery and really learning to navigate this life, I will say I fall short of this ideal all the time myself. But when you really work.

 

- Mike Thibideau

When you really work on yourself and you learn to embrace serenity in your life, meaning knowing what you can control and what you can't, a lot of the most common workplace struggles kind of go out the door.

 

- Mike Thibideau

If you live your life professionally, not obsessing about other people's actions, behaviors and thoughts, it frees up a lot of space to really do some pretty amazing things yourself.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And it's something I didn't realize until I had been in recovery for a number of years and really. Practicing those principles is how much of people's workplace stress comes from what they can't control about others behaviors. And so that's been a beautiful thing for me, is just being able to be a little bit more in the moment, but then also just present to.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Plan and and do the good work, I fall short of that all the time and still have problems, but I'm at least able to name them and process through it and and move on rather than obsess.

 

- Liesel Mertes

What kinds of supports did you find that you needed in that immediate year or even in an ongoing way, like just the. For someone who has not gone through the process of moving towards sobriety?

 

- Liesel Mertes

Give me give me more of like a perspective and what that journey has looked like for you post interventional treatment.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So. I think that a lot of it for me has come down to really just leaning on my networks and my supports, so when I when I started off, I, I kind of just you have to accept I do accept that there was no such thing in early recovery as balance.

 

- Mike Thibideau

You're not going to, like, spend an equal amount of time with your family and your work and your recovery and all these things. Kind of like recovery has to come first because it's the if without it, none of this other stuff is going to continue to exist.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I, I know my my workplace was really great about making sure that I was participating in treatment at the recommended amount by my medical professionals and really encouraging me to do that. They paid for me my salary through part of my medical leave to help with the bills. They helped me with reduced hours and slowing down my travel when I was engaged in outpatient programming and kind of took that stress away from me in the interim.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I leaned I leaned hard on my supports, I went to 12 step meetings pretty much every day for. Six, eight months, something like that, and and that meant I wasn't home to be with my girlfriend and invest time in that relationship quite as much.

 

- Mike Thibideau

There were times at work where I would be really struggling and I would just kind of over lunch, go to a meeting and and take some time for myself. And I really worked hard to just stay engaged in systems and do the work.

 

- Mike Thibideau

A big thing for me was recognizing. I'll be frank, I've been very blessed in that I haven't had very many times in recovery where I have had serious thoughts of drinking, I was ready for this change and I was doing the work. There have been limited times where that was not where that was present in my life. But I've been able to kind of.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Get that in check real quick and a big reason for that is I've worked really hard on myself to recognize the symptoms of behavioral change that are getting me back to an emotional state where I would think about drinking.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So me in my current state, as I'm sitting here today, is not going to have a thought today about alcohol, at least not in an unhealthy manner. I might literally think about alcohol as a concept or something like that because of my job, but the thought of drinking is not something that I'm worried about is a danger today.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But my manipulation, my control issues, my insecurities, all of these things that are part of the me that would have that thought might come back into my life today in some form or fashion. And so my ability to recognize those in that moment and arrest that thought as unhealthy and process it is what leads me to be in a place where I don't have those thoughts and behaviors on a regular basis.

 

- Mike Thibideau

The most helpful thing for me also, I will say, if anybody wants to figure out how to if you're working a 12 step program and you want to figure out how to translate that to work, I recommend to everybody that you read the Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I remember being in addiction and reading it and thinking this book isn't teaching me how to control anybody and make them my friend and not liking it, but in recovery, man, there are some principles in that book that have been jewels for me in navigating the workplace, most notably the futility of criticism, something I have to remind myself of all the time.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But that that principle is a. Is a wonderful thing for learning how to think a little bit less about what you deserve and a little bit more about what to be grateful for.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Hmm. Thank you for that recommendation. I found myself mentally cataloging and being like, I know I have a copy of that somewhere. Where is it? So that's a good resource.

 

- Liesel Mertes

You have this depth of personal experience, which I'm sure you know, feeds daily into what you get to do professionally, which is thinking a lot about how you structurally equip workplaces to look at, you know, addiction issues that their people are going through.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Individual stories are powerful, also, like high level data has its own impact, what is some of the scope of the challenge that is facing just at the statewide level, like if someone's thinking like her addiction and recovery in the workplace, I don't know, is that a problem here in Indiana?

 

- Liesel Mertes

What are some data points that help illuminate that?

 

- Mike Thibideau

The most important data set behind what we do. Is that employers being equipped to help individuals in the workplace can directly save lives, people who are referred to care via their employer have the highest levels of outcomes at one year and five year recovery measures.

 

- Mike Thibideau

They have the strongest length of engagement with the treatment system, which is across multiple papers and studies shown as the primary indicator of success. And they have the most pressure to enter treatment, despite being the group that has the lowest self perceived need for care.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And so what that means, as many people who are referred to treatment or to some type of education by their employer would not have gone if referred by friends, family or a doctor. And yet, despite that, they have the highest levels of outcomes.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And a big part of that is what we know of as recovery capital. Social, which is social capital, is a very common concept. But when people get care while employed, they're more likely to have adequate insurance. They're more likely to have housing, transportation, healthier social networks and community supports that an unemployed individual just generally does not because employment is a key social determinants of health. So we know that by us equipping employers to intervene and assist, we can help individuals get help earlier in their disease cycle and in doing so, directly save lives and that.

 

- Liesel Mertes

And what does well-equipped place of employment, what does that look like? How are individuals equipped like that, the management or high level? What what does what you're looking to build look like?

 

- Mike Thibideau

So the most basic foundation is a sound second chance system, and that means that when an individual fails their first drug screen, they're not terminated. And that's at its most basic at its most basic level. That being with that being the defining characteristic, we've actually helped lower that number of employers in Indiana by twenty five percent in two years, which is remarkable that we've seen so swift behavioral change that a lowering of twenty five percent of the number of employers that terminate after a first failed drug test, correct?

 

- Mike Thibideau

Yep. And then kind of on top of that very basic foundation, what we look for is the ability to support, refer individuals to appropriate treatment or care and have a basic system that allows you to retain them or at least the framework for attention. Relapse management is a key component of that. And what that really looks like from a best practice policy is that you're set up to where any time that an employee asks you for help, they are directly referred to care.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Whether that's that could be their second time asking for help, their third time asking about their fourth time asking for help.

 

- Mike Thibideau

You send them to help. But if they fail a second drug test, they're gone. And there's and there's no ifs, ands or buts kind of around that. Or if they if they have a workplace incident that you take appropriate disciplinary action based on that incident or behavior.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But really leave the door open for and actively encourage individuals to still come forward and ask for help. So it's kind of one of those one of those mechanisms where the first time that you need help, whether it's through a request or a drug test or an incident, whatever it may be, certain certain types of things notwithstanding, if you're in your view, the employees still need to be held accountable for their behaviors and your environment.

 

- Mike Thibideau

If somebody is violent in the workplace, it doesn't really matter whether they're intoxicated or not. They have to be held accountable for their violent behavior. But if they are an employee in good standing and they and they fail a drug screen or have an accident or something like that, you help them get well and get directed towards recovery. And then as things go on, you help mitigate the severity of relapse by encouraging by building systems that encourage them to come forward and ask for help any time that they need assistance.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Right. I love what you do and what you're building, it's it's obviously there's a lot of alignment with empathy in the workplace and coming alongside people.

 

MUSICAL TRANSITION

 

We will return to my conversation with Mike in just a moment.  First, I want to thank our sponsor, Handle with Care Consulting.  With all of the stress and chaos of the year, promoting mental health and building cultures of care has never been more important.  Let Handle with Care help.  With keynotes, certificiate sessions, and executive coaching, we have offerings to fit your needs. 

 

MUSICAL TRANSITION

 

- Mike Thibideau

I mean, so before I did this role, I was the executive director of a construction association doing workforce development work on behalf of the state's construction industry. I had no professional background in addiction at all. I was I was doing workforce development work, largely an employer education. So. Even in that work, I would constantly see employers who would have 50 percent retention in three months, and those are the exact same kinds of employers that have engaged with us to try to increase those metrics and increase the amount of support that they're providing to get more people involved, because it costs employers a lot of money to train new talent.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And for them to lose that talent so swiftly is is expensive. And so let alone the impact that it has on culture and people. But so far, so good, I guess. Right.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Well, I'm glad to hear it. And I think that it's true what you said, that the people who are coming are people who realize.

 

- Liesel Mertes

At least the beginning scope of the problem and are wanting to make those changes, we we talk on, you know, each episode of the Handle with Care podcast about like some really practical these are some these are some important things to do if you know someone who is going through something like this. And here are some things not to do as you think about.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Let's start with the, you know, avoid these behaviors sort of thing,

 

- Liesel Mertes

whether it's within your own story or just as you've worked with people who are in recovery, what are some of the least helpful things that whether it's a workplace community or a family or social context can do that, you know, inhibit someone's journey towards becoming healthier?

 

- Mike Thibideau

So I think. My parameters that I try to set with people is. To both have the attitude of never give up while also setting clear boundaries, No. Individuals who are struggling with this are not mentally well, they're not easy to be around, they're not going to be largely cooperative with what you want them to do or make the immediate changes on first act that you think they should. And that's because they are sick. This is a disease, these are sick people, but they also, in many cases don't have a lot of trust in their lives and they're very suspicious and they believe that everybody's out to get them and that nothing is going to go well.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So when you think about how to provide support. The best way is to just be there and be ready to help them do the right thing at any time.

 

- Mike Thibideau

There's a lot of nuance involved in that and the the conversation of whether you're enabling or assisting or is a very complicated one that we could probably spend a whole podcast on. But I think that never losing the compassion is an important part of staying engaged and involved. And aside from that. It's also important to make sure that, you know. Especially as a workplace, at what point and having having it be clearly defined and not amorphous, when is enough enough?

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yeah, there's clear boundaries that are there. You touched on this, but just to give you a chance to say it more fully.

 

- Liesel Mertes

What are some of the the best things that people, whether as your wife or that you first employer or just best practices of people you work with, what comes to mind when you think these are some of the best things you can do to support someone who is dealing with severe steps?

 

- Liesel Mertes

Well, not even severe with substance abuse issues, so.

 

- Mike Thibideau

My wife, to her great credit, gives me the ability to self identify a need for self care in my life and to take care of those needs, whether it's you going out and playing golf with buddies in recovery, taking time to go to a 12 step meeting, working with as a working as a volunteer to stay engaged in the community. And that meeting that she has to stay home with our daughter or whatever it may be. She's very good about recognizing that.

 

- Mike Thibideau

That's an important part of me being able to take care of myself so I can then be present for others. And I think that within the workplace, that can look very different.

 

- Mike Thibideau

So this current job is the only one I've ever had outside of the one where I got treatment at where I've ever been public about the fact that I like. And in recovery and struggled with addiction in my past roles, I would just tell people things like I don't drink, it cause problems for me in the past and that would be enough.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Nobody ever cared. Nobody ever really questioned it. I would be at networking events that had alcohol, most of which I put together.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I never really had a problem with that because God knows those things were terrible for me when I was actually drinking.

 

- Liesel Mertes

There are a lot easier when you're not to be drunk and remember the person that you made that great contact with.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Oh, my gosh. Talk about gratitude. That was like one of the weirdest things I know. And it's I should not be too flippant about this. I know a lot of people really struggle with being around alcohol in those professional settings. But I know for me that was a source of gratitude because, boy, I, I was miserable at those when I was actually drinking because I never could drink how I wanted to.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And all I could think about was how soon I could leave to get to go somewhere and really Taiwan or do it. How I really wanted to. But yeah, now those are huge moments of gratitude, but so the other thing is, just so I like to think of.

 

- Mike Thibideau

All of my employers have always been very good about giving me the ability to be vulnerable, about the need for self care, and that's, I will say, even outside of the environment of like reasonable accommodation and disclosure of an actual, like, disability, like, I've never I don't think needed to say, like, you know, I'm starting my recovery.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I need to go do X, Y or Z. I've just said things like, you know, like, hey, I'm having a really tough day and I need to go take some time for myself over like a longer lunch. And people are like, yeah, go. Do you I think that that's how people should treat everybody. If you're if you allow your employees to be vulnerable, you allow them to take care of themselves and stay at their best.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And while the old school mentality may be that people would quote unquote, take advantage of that, for the most part, people have so much gratitude for it that they end up working harder and doing better work.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I think on the whole, that that's like a really key thing to do is just to believe in people, be vulnerable about your struggles and put in an appropriate manner.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I I am very vocal about the fact that I do not believe that everybody needs to be open about their recovery and their addiction story within their workplace. For me here, it makes sense and it's something that is very powerful for me to insert into my professional role because my professional role deals with addiction.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But. Your employer does not need to know that in the same way that your employer doesn't need to know if you have diabetes, if you have depression, if you have sleep issues, if you have any other chronic disease that you're successfully managing,

 

- Mike Thibideau

it's when you're not successfully managing it and you require accommodation that people should feel safe coming forward and requesting it to help take care of themselves prior to needing an intervention or a relapse or being failing a drug test or any of those things.

 

- Liesel Mertes

I'd like that turn of phrase. Going to ponder that, yeah, just even framing what it means to have the space, but also to have, you know. Protections in place for a successful management of that, I appreciate that. Is there anything else that you feel like would be important for people to know that I didn't ask you or that you didn't get a chance to say?

 

- Mike Thibideau

I think that one place where I I don't think get into as fully as I would love is especially as it relates to empathy, is just the the effect that this has on our own family members of those who are struggling and how different it's handled within especially the workplace from like adult caregiving and other types of health based issues that our employees encounter with those that they love.

 

- Mike Thibideau

I mean, I remember very distinctly, and I tell this story a lot about my my my mom's mother and her struggle with cancer and aging as she got further on in years. And I know that my mom talked about that stuff at work. I see people in my own workplace talking about their what they have to do to take care of their parents as they age and being very vocal and vulnerable with others about that struggle. And I can guarantee that none of that same kind of support existed for my mom when I was dealing with my addiction or that people feel comfortable coming forward about when their loved ones are struggling.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And this is an area where I think leadership has an ability to lead through vulnerability. And if you are a person who is in a company and you know somebody yourself who's struggling with addiction and it's affecting your life, I encourage you to be very vocal about that with your employees and then through that, discuss the support mechanisms that the workplace has to offer and just let them know that you're available for them to talk to if they ever just need a shoulder.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Because. I mean, I know people who drop their son or son or daughter off in treatment and then went back to work like that day or the next hour and. That would be so hard and I would also venture to say would be something that if they actually talk to their boss about their boss would be like, no, like take care of yourself. You know, take the take the rest of the day off at least,

 

- Liesel Mertes

and I imagine, you know, you've you've thought more on this, but I can imagine that is because there's there's a lot of levels of perhaps shame and protection built in that if people knew that I had a loved one who is going through this, like, how would they view me?

 

- Liesel Mertes

And also, you know, a sense. You know, with whatever judgment of whether it's right or wrong, of wanting to protect that individual, like I don't want to expose my adult son to people knowing that he's struggling with this, what would they think is, is that. I don't know if accurate is the right term, do you find that those levels of kind of perception and protective impulses are like baked into why people feel uncomfortable talking about these things?

 

- Mike Thibideau

Yeah, I think that that's that's a huge part of it, is that sense of stigma and shame and wanting to protect their loved ones. I know the probably a big part of it is they they they're worried to an extent about how it reflect on them. I know my own mom and early on especially would constantly say things like what could we have done differently? What could I have done differently? And the answer was like, nothing like your you were great.

 

- Mike Thibideau

Like you killed it, you know, and that was totally outside of their control. But I don't know that it would have been viewed that way by other people if she had been more public about that. And that might. And I think that's fair.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But I also know that that narrative has evolved in the last five years. I've seen just how this narrative has evolved just even in the last two or three and. Even in my own workplace, I can say, granted, I had been vulnerable even during my interview about my personal recovery, and I introduced myself as a person in recovery, my first day and my first staff meeting.

 

- Mike Thibideau

But even along with that, within a day of that disclosure, I think I had maybe was five people within my own workplace come forward to me and talk to me about the struggles and loved ones of theirs that had. Which is kind of really a showcase to me, the power that that vulnerability can have,

 

- Liesel Mertes

Absolutely I I resonate with that in my own in my own areas of loss. You know, it is the power of, like, giving voice to that. And it's amazing exactly what you said, whether, you know, from the leadership level on down, how that gives other people the space to think. I can give voice to this to.

 

- Liesel Mertes

Mike, I'm going to link information about workforce recovery in the show notes is the best way for people to be in touch with you via your website or via the phone that, you know, if there's an H.R. director or, you know, company leader who says, I really want to avail myself of these resources, how should they be in touch with you?

 

- Mike Thibideau

So right on the front page, the program page of our website, if you go to Wellness Indiana Douglas Recovery and you scroll down just a little bit below the slider, I think the first button you see says schedule a free conversation today or like start a conversation today. If you click on that, that my email pops up and I'm happy to talk with anybody about anything, and I can pretty much say fairly reliably, if I can't direct you, if I can't help you, I can direct you to somebody who can.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And I am happy to do so for any business or really anyone who just wants to talk. And do what do at least do what we can for them?

 

- Liesel Mertes

Yeah, well, thank you, Mike. Thank you for sharing not only about your work, but out of your own story today. Appreciate it. I'm I'm going to get ready to click stop recording unless. Is there anything else that you'd like to add before we officially stop recording?

 

- Mike Thibideau

I'm just really grateful for the ability to tell my story, I'm grateful for the life that I'm able to have and grateful that my daughter and soon to be daughters, you know, God willing, never have to know that old me.

 

- Mike Thibideau

And only get to have a dad that gets to be around and present for them. So thank you for the opportunity. And I'm I just want people to know that this is a great life to live if you let it be.

 

MUSICAL TRANSITION

 

Here are three key take-aways from my conversation with Mike

  • Supportive workplaces matter.Mike talked about the impact of a boss and workplace that let him take the time he needed as he dealt with his addiction.  And I am so glad to learn more about the supports that are available through Indiana Workforce Recovery.  Check out their resources in the show notes.
  • Providing support for caregivers and family members is also important.Mike talked about how his mom felt unable to share, like her struggle was cloaked in shame and judgment.  Leaders, you are part of creating a safe space where people can talk and receive support, without fear of judgment. 
  • If you are someone that is struggling with addiction, or love someone that is, I want to remind you of the Mike’s closing words.There is a great life available to live and resources to help you get there.  And as point 3b, you might want to pick up a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People

 

OUTRO

 

 

Learn more about Indiana Workforce Recovery here:  https://www.wellnessindiana.org/recovery/